I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
