Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
