Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
