well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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