Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
