I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
