I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
