i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Randomize
