Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
