okay pat passed out under dana's car
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
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I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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