He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
