I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
