Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
