I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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