There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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