oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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