I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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