all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
