Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
