if you like me you must not know who I am
just come out here and I will go home with you...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
