I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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