i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
