so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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