I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
