So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
