WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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