Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
