I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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