I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
