Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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