just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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