I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Where is the hickey?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
