if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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