i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
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Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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