i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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