I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
