The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
