Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
