They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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