I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize