The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you win again, gameday.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize
