help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
