You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize