I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
