He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
