how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
