Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize