Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
