"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize