I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
