he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
