Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
