dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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