your room smells of hookers.
And success
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
