She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Bring me that man meat
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
