I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
