this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
