he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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