All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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