I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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