I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
