Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
