Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
