awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
soo... how was my night?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
